Why Telling Your Kids You Can't Afford Something May Make Them More Likely To Deal With Poverty In Adulthood (2024)

Talking about money is often regarded as a taboo subject that we should never bring attention to, especially between parents and their children. On Instagram, ametaphysical life coach named Aaron shared a videofrom popular YouTuberSheRaSevenwho encouraged parents to stop admitting to their children that they don't have money.

Telling your kids you can't afford something may make them more likely to deal with poverty in adulthood.

SheRa Seven, whose real name isLeticia Padua, issued a public service announcement to parents who are routinely brutally honest with their children about the financial situation oftheirfamily.

Advertisem*nt

"If you can't afford something don't ever tell your children you can't afford it. That's putting lack in their mind, don't speak poverty mind around your children," Padua advised. "Don't ever keep saying, 'I can't afford that,' [or] 'This is too expensive.' Say something else."

RELATED:Daughter Asks Mom Why They Don’t Have A ‘Cool Car’ But Is Taught That Their Paid-Off Car Is Cooler Than Any New One

Advertisem*nt

In place of telling kids they can't afford this toy or that vacation, parents should use language that won't make their children feel as if they are lacking due to their parents' financial situation.

"When you put your lack onto someone else it turns into their lack. That's how poverty mind gets passed down," Padua explained.

Instead, she recommended that parents makedeals with their kids, and tell them that if they really want something, they need to work hard and prove that they really want it. If they work hard enough, then as their parents, they'll make sure to get it for them. Padua claimed that by the time thechild finishes the assigned task, their parents should have either found the money to buy what they promised their child or figured out a way to get it for them.

Beyond parenting, Padua explained that individuals should never let someone know when they don't have money for certain things.

"You should never tell people you're broke, you should never tell people you can't afford something, never," she insisted."Find a different way to say it."

RELATED:Woman Shares How She And Her Boyfriend Became A 'Low Income' Family Of 5 — With Another Kid On The Way

Most people believe that it's a parent's job to talk to their kids about money.

According to a survey conducted byMomentive,83 percentof U.S. adults said parents are the most responsible for educating their children on the topic of money.At the same time, only 15 percentof parents said they spoke with their children more than once a week about household finances, 13 percentsaid once a week and 16 percentsaid once a month. Some 24 percenttalk to their children less often and 31 percentnever do.

Advertisem*nt

The survey found that parents who earnless money were more likely to have those money conversations once a week or more. While it's encouraged to be transparent with your child about money, where does the line fall to make sure you aren't confiding too much inyour children?

Why Telling Your Kids You Can't Afford Something May Make Them More Likely To Deal With Poverty In Adulthood (1)Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock

Related Stories From YourTango:

Teen Daughter Conflicted After Her Mom Asks Her To Cut Off All Her Hair So She Can Wear It As A Wig

What You Can Learn From The 5-Minute Period After A Kid Turns Off A Video Game

Mom Is Upset That Her 3-Year-Old Daughter Calls Her Daycare Provider 'Mama'

As someone who grew up in a fairly open household where topics such as money were freely spoken about, those conversations were never too in-depth. It was simple language, such as my mother saying she didn't have enough money this week for whatever material item I was asking for, but when she got paid the following week, she'd buy it for me. Of course, my family was never in poverty or anywhere near it, and those money conversations obviously look different for families that may be struggling to make ends meet and living paycheck-to-paycheck.

Advertisem*nt

In an interview with NPR,financial expert Jen Hemphill explained that being transparent with your kids about money choices can set them up for better success by helping them understand the power money can hold and providing opportunities to learn from your mistakes together. Parents don't need to get into the nitty gritty of their financials with their children, especially if they are too young to understand, but just simply starting an honest conversation and answering any questions they have can do wonders on beginning those lessons of financial literacy.

"The sheer act of talking about it brings confidence," said Hemphill. She stressed that there's no need to worryif your financial life feels a bit all over the place or if you didn't practice good money habits with your kids from the get-go. "It's never too late. A lot of grown-ups never talked to their parents about money, right?"

RELATED:Husband Quizzes Wife About Their Bills And She Has No Idea How Any Of Them Are Paid

Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.

Advertisem*nt

Why Telling Your Kids You Can't Afford Something May Make Them More Likely To Deal With Poverty In Adulthood (2024)

FAQs

Why Telling Your Kids You Can't Afford Something May Make Them More Likely To Deal With Poverty In Adulthood? ›

In an interview with NPR, financial expert Jen Hemphill explained that being transparent with your kids about money choices can set them up for better success by helping them understand the power money can hold and providing opportunities to learn from your mistakes together.

Is it okay to tell your kids you can't afford something? ›

Even though you always want to be honest when it comes to money, you generally shouldn't tell your child you cannot afford something. Doing so has a very present-based focus. It describes only what your situation is like in the moment. A week, a month or a year down the road, things could be different.

What is the most psychologically damaging thing you can say to your child? ›

Perhaps one of the worst things you should never say to your children is that they are not loved or wanted. This can create ingrained feelings of rejection and abandonment and may lead to long-term emotional issues such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Should you have children if you can't afford them? ›

No one should have children they can't afford. The responsability for providing for children lies with their parents, not with society at large. The social benefits system is a safety net when all else has failed - if a parent falls in hard times, say. It can't be the starting point.

Should you tell your kids about money problems? ›

Be honest with your children — but don't tell them more than they need to know. Avoid overloading older kids with too many details or worries that might scare them. Stick to brief explanations and be clear about changes made to the family budget.

What to say to kids when you can't afford something? ›

How do you tell kids you cannot afford something?
  • Be honest and calm when talking about money. Explain the situation. ...
  • Teach them to save up. Part of saying 'no' can be about setting goals and working towards them. ...
  • Manage your money as a family. ...
  • Make a wish list. ...
  • Let them earn their own money.

What to say to kids instead of "We can't afford that"? ›

Here are some things you can say instead of “we can't afford it”: “You really like that [item]. It is not on our list though. When we get home, should we talk about how we can include it on our list?”

What is the most hurtful thing a parent can say to a child? ›

You never do anything right.” / “You're a loser.” Being called a screw-up or an idiot is demeaning. These things are said to make people feel shame, or to put them in their place. Though many people think shame is a good way to punish kids, I don't think it gives children the tools they need to learn new skills.

What is the most damaging parenting style to a child's development? ›

This work consistently demonstrated that youth of authoritative parents had the most favorable development outcomes; authoritarian and permissive parenting were associated with negative developmental outcomes; while outcomes for children of neglectful parents were poorest.

What is the biggest parenting mistake that destroy children's mental health? ›

Ignoring your child's emotional needs - Ignoring the emotional needs of your child is a sort of abandonment in which a parent wilfully creates a number of personality flaws that later prove to be mentally and emotionally detrimental to their children.

What is the average amount of money to have a child? ›

We know that raising kids is expensive — but just how expensive is it? According to a U.S. Department of Agriculture study published in 2017, the average cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 was $233,610 for a middle-income married couple with two children.

How much money is enough to have kids? ›

A recent figure from LendingTree puts the average cost of raising one (1) child in the U.S. at around $240,000, from birth to their 18th birthday.

How much money should you have for kids? ›

Set annual savings goals by age
Your kid's ageAnnual costs per child
0 to 2 years$13,600
3 to 5 years$13,600
6 to 8 years$13,200
9 to 11 years$14,100
2 more rows
Oct 18, 2023

When should you stop giving your children money? ›

You don't HAVE to stop giving them money.

Every family is different. If you can afford to help your kids without compromising your own financial stability and goals, if it makes you happy, and if your kids aren't dependent on you to their own detriment, there's no reason you shouldn't share your resources.

Should you tell your kids you are rich? ›

While there is no exact age to reveal, as a parent you will have to gauge your child's maturity to reveal the specific of your fortune, from an early age families should attempt to deliver consistent communication regarding how fortunate one is to be financially stable.

What percentage of parents do not talk to their kids about money? ›

At the same time, only 15% of parents said they spoke with their children more than once a week about household finances, 13% said once a week and 16% said once a month. Some 24% talk to their children less often and 31% never do.

Should you tell your kids about your wealth? ›

It is never too soon to begin the process of teaching your younger family members about the responsibilities and opportunities that wealth can provide – while the conversations may start as part of your every-day parenting, they will evolve over time and it is typically advisable to build a team of trusted 'information ...

How do you tell someone you can't afford something? ›

I can't this time, but once I'm done saving for ___, I'd love to.” “Money is a bit tight at the moment, so I'll skip brunch this time.” “I just really can't afford it right now, I hope you can understand.” “I've got some big savings goals I'm trying to kick – can we take a raincheck?”

Should I tell my adult children how much money I have? ›

While your adult children don't need to know exactly what your income is, they do need to know where it comes from. That's why it's important to review all your income sources with them, says Kimberly Palmer, personal finance expert at NerdWallet, a personal finance app aimed at simplifying money management.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Greg O'Connell

Last Updated:

Views: 5933

Rating: 4.1 / 5 (42 voted)

Reviews: 81% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Greg O'Connell

Birthday: 1992-01-10

Address: Suite 517 2436 Jefferey Pass, Shanitaside, UT 27519

Phone: +2614651609714

Job: Education Developer

Hobby: Cooking, Gambling, Pottery, Shooting, Baseball, Singing, Snowboarding

Introduction: My name is Greg O'Connell, I am a delightful, colorful, talented, kind, lively, modern, tender person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.